Batten down the hatches folks, Old Man Winter, recently returned from sabbatical, has his sights set on Southern Ontario. Residents are warned of a winter clipper furiously tracking from the central US. The clipper, nicknamed, Stupid Head, has joined forces with the repeat offender, Beulah Low from the southeast, and plan to strike late Monday night. If left unchecked, these two miscreants will wreak havoc well into Wednesday.

Reliable sources tell this reporter that although local residents plan to use their NIMBY cards, SH and B Low are unlikely to listen and will drop a crap ton of snow over the area.

Hoard your snacks kids, it could get ugly out there.


Window wraps …

Photograph by Carol Hathaway - 2014

Photograph by Carol Hathaway – 2014

Recently overheard conversation between me and myself.

Me: Completely sick of winter
Self: Yes, we know, we know already.

Me: So I was thinking …
Self: Uh oh.

Me: I wonder if you could get special wraps for the living room windows. You know the kind that buses and cars have? They could be pictures of spring, green grass, birds, the sun …
Self: ya … so?

Me: So, you put them on the windows and when you look out, you only see spring.
Self: But what if you want to go outside? The cold will break your illusion.

Me: Well there’s the genius of the plan. You don’t go out. You take vacation and stay in with the heat cranked. It’s a win/win.
Self: sigh …

Nature speaks …

Are you listening? Photograph by Carol Hathaway - 2014

Are you listening?
Photograph by Carol Hathaway – 2014

Nature speaks
can you hear her?

Nature speaks in Spring
when plants begin to wake,
seeds stretching, reaching, beneath the warming earth.

Nature speaks in Summer
bright, busy days, somnolent nights
bees buzz, crickets chirp, sparrows sing.

Nature speaks in Autumn
preparing for sleep, cool breezes blow,
leaves fall from trees, dance ’round the yard.

Nature speaks in Winter
cold creeps in, snow crunches
the promise of spring to come.

Nature speaks
are you listening?

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer,
it sings because it has a song.
~ Maya Angelou

General Deep Freeze …

Photograph by Carol Hathaway - 2014

Photograph by Carol Hathaway – 2014


With Mother Nature otherwise occupied and Old Man Winter on vacation, General Deep Freeze has taken up an offensive position in Southern Ontario and continues to bombard residents with wind, cold air, and a belligerent attitude.  The General has been barking orders continually, forcing the temperature to fall throughout the afternoon and early evening. 

Rumour has it the General’s forces plan to lay siege to the area well into next week, with several barrages of cold air and blowing snow. 

A source close to Deep Freeze, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, tell this reporter that local residents should hunker down, bundle up or just plain hide out in their jammies during these dark days.  The General isn’t going anywhere any time soon.


And the people snickered …

It doesn't match the story but ... Photograph by Carol Hathaway - 2014

It doesn’t match the story but …
Photograph by Carol Hathaway – 2014

Once upon a time it snowed and rained and snowed some more. The air became very cold and froze the rain to the road.

The air stayed cold and the ice remained. Walking on the ice was treacherous. Small dogs didn’t know what to do, which way to go. There was no place for relief, the snow banks were also frozen.

And so it came to pass that a snow event wandered into the neighbourhood. It snowed ALL DAY LONG. Finally the snow stopped falling, and the long-suffering small folk emerged into the daylight. They blinked their eyes and looked all around. And thus, the snow removal began. As they bent their backs to the task at hand the snow plow arrived.

Mr Snow Plow driver cleared one side of the street. The small folk continued their shoveling. Moving the snow from driveway to lawn. Bend, scoop, toss.

As they laboured, Mr Snow Plow driver appeared again to clear the other side of the street. The small folk stopped to watch, leaning on their shovels, for they knew of the ice beneath the snow. And Mr Snow Plow driver, in his great big plow, got stuck. Tires spun. And the people snickered. He backed down the street and tried again. And once again, the plow’s tires spun. Three times he tried. Three times the people snickered. On the fourth attempt, the plow made it through. “Dang!”, the people said. Back to work, nothing more to see.

Moral of the story: sometimes, when you least expect it, shoveling snow can be entertaining.