Precious – Okay Zeus, out you go Zeus – Uh no … Precious – Zeus, I know you have to go, get out there Zeus – the hell I will Precious – Come on … Zeus – <backs away> nope, not gonna do it Precious – You’re going to make me get dressed Zeus – you betcha Precious – sigh
Moral of the story – when you’re big enough and strong enough, you make your people take you out front, and even then you do your thing in the garage, because … hello … snow …
With Mother Nature otherwise occupied and Old Man Winter on vacation, General Deep Freeze has taken up an offensive position in Southern Ontario and continues to bombard residents with wind, cold air, and a belligerent attitude. The General has been barking orders continually, forcing the temperature to fall throughout the afternoon and early evening.
Rumour has it the General’s forces plan to lay siege to the area well into next week, with several barrages of cold air and blowing snow.
A source close to Deep Freeze, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, tell this reporter that local residents should hunker down, bundle up or just plain hide out in their jammies during these dark days. The General isn’t going anywhere any time soon.
Once upon a time it was my birthday … a few of us wanted to go out for a walk. The other two said, “are you NUTS!”
Me: go out for a walk. It is sunny
Self: it is cold. Don’t want to go out.
Me: so you’re going to keep us cooped up inside all day?
Self: uhm, that was the plan, yes.
Me: I won’t have it. Get moving.
Me: now you’re whining. It’s NOT attractive.
While residents of Southern Ontario continue to suffer under the yoke of below seasonal temperatures, rumours are swirling that Mother Nature has been neglecting her duties and is stepping out nightly, with a much younger, well-heeled Lothario. She has been seen sipping champagne and dancing into the wee hours of the morning in fancy dress establishments frequented by the rich and famous.
Sources whispered sordid tales involving Old Man Winter, a long denied southern vacation and tall, cool drinks poolside.
Meanwhile, our dark-haired, mystery man continues to woo Mother Nature while ruling this winter season with an iron fist.
This reporter hopes that, for everyone’s sake, Mother Nature will soon come to her senses and ditch her virile boy toy, who, quite obviously, does not have her best interests at heart.
You can’t outrun a bad tempered Alberta clipper Photograph by Carol Hathaway – 2014
** SPECIAL WEATHER STATEMENT **
In what will come as no surprise to residents of Southern Ontario, a very special weather statement has been issued to let us know that local blowing snow will reduce visibility today, tonight and into what will feel like forever.
An Alberta clipper with a bad attitude, plans to saunter through the area leaving residents feeling snappy, peevish, ill-natured, querulous, and petulant.
… Oh wait, sorry, that’s just how I’ll feel.
General snowfall amounts of near 5 cm are possible and it’s going to be c-c-c-cold …
Behind the system, wind will blow the snow around and around into Monday, Tuesday then back into last week.
Snowflakes are kisses from heaven.
~ Author Unknown
I’m a fan. Some of your work is beautiful. Gently falling snow, rainbows after a storm, a bright sunset, and those sunrises, unbelievable.
Sadly I must take issue with your recent efforts. I’m not so happy with the cold, the wind, ice and the subsequent power outages. Not so great.
While I realize that it is January and I live in Canada, I was counting on that slightly milder spell that was promised for this weekend. You know the one, minus 10 with the wind chill? A little sun to lift the spirits?
Mother Nature, I respectfully request that the air be a tad warmer and how about a little less wind. My fingertips want to remember what it’s like to not tingle in my gloves.
“The beauty of the natural world lies in the details.”
~ Natalie Angier