** THIS JUST IN **


Batten down the hatches folks, Old Man Winter, recently returned from sabbatical, has his sights set on Southern Ontario. Residents are warned of a winter clipper furiously tracking from the central US. The clipper, nicknamed, Stupid Head, has joined forces with the repeat offender, Beulah Low from the southeast, and plan to strike late Monday night. If left unchecked, these two miscreants will wreak havoc well into Wednesday.

Reliable sources tell this reporter that although local residents plan to use their NIMBY cards, SH and B Low are unlikely to listen and will drop a crap ton of snow over the area.

Hoard your snacks kids, it could get ugly out there.

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