Weather talks have broken down…

THIS JUST IN!

 Talks between the union representing the seasons and Mother Nature broke down earlier this morning. No new talks have been scheduled. The union is retaliating with blowing winds, cooler than normal air temperatures and cloud cover. Back to summer legislation could be tabled by a higher power as early as next week.

The union representing the seasons alleges Mother Nature has been bargaining in bad faith.  Allegations claim she has been bad mouthing the seasons and in one case was heard to have said that the seasons suck and she doesn’t.
 
It was thought that Mr. Weatherman would be named as arbitrator but, an arbitrator must remain impartial.  Mr. Weatherman, by his very nature, is unable to be impartial. Our anonymous source has heard whispers regarding backroom shenanigans involving Mother Nature. Quite scandalous, but unproven.

Mind Reading

 – noun
1. the ability to discern the thoughts of others without the normal means of communication, especially by means of a preternatural power.
2. an act or the practice of so discerning the thoughts of another.

Fact 1: I can’t do this.
Fact 2: Folks in my vicinity don’t recognize fact 1.